Friday, May 20, 2011

Be prepared

The Rapture: judgment day imminent … if US engineer has calculated right | World news | The Guardian: "The Rapture: judgment day imminent … if US engineer has calculated right
Thousands say goodbye to family and friends ahead of 6pm Saturday deadline, after which 'saved' will rise up"
Poster in Kendall Square, Cambridge, Massachus...Image via WikipediaI was a boy scout when I was young. You know the whole "be prepared" thing.  Of course, a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then.  Then, too, the whole end of the world judgement day thing is a bit difficult to prepare for.  Do you say goodbye to loved ones then stick your head between your legs ... well you know the rest.  Or what?  So what to do?

Been thinking about it.  Not much but hey, it's Friday and rainy outside. Got to do something now that I'm retired.  So here's my plan.

First, open that very nice bottle of red wine BB and I have been saving for that special time.  What could be more special than the 'rapture' after all.

Second, take a couple of glasses and go back into the master bedroom.  

Third, get naked.  I can't imagine that one should dress for the rapture in anything other than the suite god gave you.

Fourth, get into bed under the covers.  It's warm and comfortable and generally rather nice.

Fifth, enjoy the wine.  If I remember my new testament reasonably, Christ was OK with wine even going so far as turning water to wine.  If it's good enough for C it's good enough for me.

Sixth, while naked and just slightly tight enjoy the great gift god gave men and women to share together.  That's in the bible as well, if memory serves, something about multiplying and the earth.  

Now there are two possible outcomes here.  One is that the 'rapture' is real in which case I'm reasonably OK with preparations since I'm dressed as god made me and engaged ... well you know.  The other is that this wacko is wrong again as he was back in '92 or '94 or both.  In this rather more likely outcome I've shared a nice bottle of wine with someone I love.  No harm, no foul, and we can all go on with life reassured that we've  rehearsed a well conceived plan for the end of days or whatever other terminal disaster might occur. 

One final thought.  Could we get this guy to schedule the rapture a bit more often then declare it a special floating holiday?  Sort of like a combined April Fools, Christmas, and New Years all together during the spring or summer.  Sounds like a fair idea to me.

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